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一生中應(yīng)該有的八種類型的朋友

Eight types of friends you need to have in your life

中國日報(bào)網(wǎng) 2014-02-20 09:59

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一生中應(yīng)該有的八種類型的朋友

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Did you know that people without friends are more likely to die an early death?

It’s true. Just ask science.

To up your chances of living a long, happy life, having a bunch of fair-weather buddies won’t do the trick. You need a diverse, well-rounded entourage that will stick with you through thick and thin. The following eight types of friends are just what you need to keep the doctor away.

1. A Loyal Best Friend

Sometimes a loyal best friend is the only thing you need to stay sane. Everyone needs a non-judgmental friend who will support them no matter what. This is the kind of friend who lets you be a hot mess and knows all of your deepest and darkest secrets, but still loves you all the same.

2. A Fearless Adventurer

We live in a big world where there are so many places to see, people to meet, and experiences to be had, yet so many of us are stuck in our own routines and forget to, well, live. We all need an adventurous friend who will pull us out of our shells and introduce us to new ideas, cultures, philosophies, and activities.

3. A Brutally Honest Confidant

There’s certain situations in life where we need to hear the harsh truth. That’s what the brutally honest confidant is for. If you’re in a rocky relationship and everyone’s telling you that it’s perfectly normal that you’re back with that special someone for the 8th time in the last 2 years, the brutally honest confidant is there to yank your rose-colored glasses off and tell you, “Enough. Stop with all that break-up-and-get-back-together drama. You deserve better.” Friends are supposed to be honest with each other. If you find someone who is brutally honest with you (in a constructive way), then hold on to this person! People like that are hard to come by these days.

4. A Wise Mentor

Jesse Jackson once said, “Never look down on someone unless you’re helping them up.” If you have someone smart, inspiring, and admirable in your life who practices this philosophy, you’re extremely lucky. We all need a friend who inspires us to be better people without making us feel inadequate. Plus, being around such a person will challenge us to better ourselves every day.

The wise mentor in your life doesn’t have to be someone who shares the same occupation or hobbies with you. It’s simply someone who’s a few steps ahead of you in life and has enough wisdom and patience to guide you in the right direction. It can be anyone — a colleague, a friend who’s beyond their years, or an older neighbor — as long as you look up to this person and want to be more like them.

5. A Friend From a Different Culture

The last thing you want to be described as is someone who’s stuck in their own ways. If everyone had a friend from a different culture, the world would be a much better place. Being in a cross-cultural friendship allows you to explore customs, values, and traditions outside of your own culture. Sometimes you might even adopt new ways to do things.

Be careful; don’t befriend someone just because they’re from a different culture. No one likes to be a token friend. Instead, keep your mind open, and if you come across someone you click with who just so happens to be from a different culture, make the effort to learn about their customs, values, and traditions while getting to know the person on a personal level.

6. A Polar Opposite

We humans are hard-wired to get together in groups and attack outsiders — the human pack mentality, if you will. If you only develop friendships with others who follow the same beliefs, customs, and values as you do, chances are you’re somewhat detached from the rest of the world, and you’re more likely to perpetuate stereotypes on anyone who holds a different world view from you.

Instead of constantly surrounding yourself with like-minded people, try to break out of your comfort zone and befriend people who hold opposing views. They will help open your eyes to different world views and you’ll learn to accept people who don’t see the world exactly the way you see it.

7. A Friendly Neighbor

These days, a lot of people don’t know their own neighbors. It’s a shame, because some neighbors can be the nicest and most helpful people ever. If you’re on a vacation, and you suddenly realize that you forgot to lock the front door, you can call up your trusty ol’ neighbor and ask them to head over to your house and lock it for you. Nice dependable neighbors who have each other’s backs are a dying breed, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t introduce yourself to the new neighbors across the street!

8. A Work Pal

Did you know that with a full-time job, you spend at least 50% of your waking hours at work? Not only that, but you spend some more time commuting to work, thinking about work, working overtime, and furthering your career on your personal time. Depressing, isn’t it?

Statistics show that the more isolated you are at work, the more depressed you get. That’s why it makes sense to get a work pal to chat with at the water cooler and to help you get through the week. You spend 50% of your waking hours at work, and so does your work pal. You’ll find it much easier to shoot the breeze and complain about work with someone who can relate to you than eating lunch alone every day.

Your work pal doesn’t have to be your best friend outside of work. They just need to be someone you click with on some level, and if you two hit it off exceptionally well, you can always start hanging out with them outside of the office.

With a loyal best friend, a fearless adventurer, a brutally honest confidant, a wise mentor, a friend from a different culture, a polar opposite, a friendly neighbor, and a work pal in your life, you’re bound to live a long and happy life!

查看譯文

你知道嗎?沒有朋友的人往往死的早。

這是真的。不信,可以向科學(xué)求證。

要想生活得長久幸福,一群不能共患難的朋友是不能助你達(dá)成目的的。你需要的是一群性格各異、面面俱到,可以與你同甘苦共患難的朋友。接下來要說的八種類型的朋友正是這一類。

1.一個(gè)忠實(shí)的最好的朋友

有時(shí)一個(gè)忠實(shí)的最好的朋友可以是使你保持清醒的唯一原因。每個(gè)人都需要一個(gè)無論在任何情況下都無私支持自己的朋友。這樣的朋友可以放任你的一團(tuán)糟,也知道你所有的最深處和最黑暗的秘密,但仍然一直愛著你。

2.一個(gè)無所畏懼的冒險(xiǎn)者

我們生活在一個(gè)宏大的世界里,可以看許多風(fēng)景,遇到各色人,擁有豐富多彩的經(jīng)歷。然而,我們大部分人都深陷在自己的瑣事里,忘記如何好好地生活。我們都需要一個(gè)冒險(xiǎn)的朋友,將自己從殼里拖出來并向我們介紹新想法、文化、哲學(xué)和活動。

3.一個(gè)極其誠實(shí)的知己

在生活中,有些特定的場合,我們需要知道殘酷的真相。這時(shí)我們正需要這樣一個(gè)極其誠實(shí)的知己。在一段搖擺不定的戀愛關(guān)系中,每個(gè)人都對你說情人間難免有摩擦,你應(yīng)該再次回到那個(gè)人身邊,而這已是過去兩年里第八次出現(xiàn)。此時(shí)那個(gè)極其誠實(shí)的知己則會摘掉你樂觀的眼鏡,對你說,“夠了!不要再上演那種分分合合的戲碼了。你值得更好的人”。朋友之間應(yīng)該相互坦誠。如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)某個(gè)人對你極其誠實(shí),那么就緊緊抓住這個(gè)人。在這個(gè)時(shí)代,像這樣的人已不多了。

4.一位睿智的導(dǎo)師

杰西?杰克遜曾說,“永遠(yuǎn)不要看輕別人,除非他需要你的幫助”。如果你的一生中有這樣聰慧、令人激勵和敬佩的人在實(shí)踐這種哲學(xué),那你就非常幸運(yùn)。

我們都需要一個(gè)激勵自己變得更好而不是變得自卑的朋友。而且,在這樣一個(gè)人身邊將會促使我們不斷提高,天天向上。

在你的生命中,一位睿智的導(dǎo)師不一定要是某個(gè)職位與你相同的或是擁有共同愛好的人。僅僅是某個(gè)生活閱歷比你多點(diǎn),擁有足夠智慧和能力,可以指引你走向正確方向的人。他可以是任何人—— 一位同事、一個(gè)閱歷豐富的朋友或是一位年老的鄰居,只要你敬仰并且想要成為甚至超越他們。

5.來自不同文化的朋友

你最不想被別人描述成固執(zhí)己見的人。如果每個(gè)人都有一位來自不同文化的朋友,世界將會變得更美好。一段跨文化的友誼可以使你體驗(yàn)與自己文化迥然不同的習(xí)俗、價(jià)值觀和傳統(tǒng)。有時(shí),你甚至可能采用新的方式做事。

注意,不要就因?yàn)槟橙藖碜圆煌幕团c其成為朋友。沒人喜歡成為象征性的朋友。相反,你要敞開心胸。如果你在網(wǎng)上遇到某個(gè)人恰巧來自不同文化,要努力去了解他們的習(xí)俗、價(jià)值觀念和傳統(tǒng),同時(shí)從個(gè)人的層面去了解這個(gè)人。

6.一個(gè)完全對立的朋友

我們?nèi)祟愄焐臅奂谝黄鸾M成組,對付外來者-----即人類團(tuán)體性思維,如果你想知道的話。要是只跟與你有相同信仰、習(xí)俗和價(jià)值觀念的人做朋友,你將可能與其余的世界相脫離,更加可能給與你持不同世界觀的人留下刻板的印象。

除了不斷地使志同道合的人圍繞在身邊,你應(yīng)該試著打破這種安逸,同觀點(diǎn)與你對立的人做朋友。他們可以幫助你拓展不同世界觀的視野,而你也將學(xué)會接受以一種完全迥異于你的方式看待世界的人。

7.一位友好的鄰居

這些年,很多人不了解自己的鄰居。這真是羞愧。因?yàn)橐恍┼従涌梢猿蔀樽钣押煤妥顭嵝牡娜?。要是你正在度假,突然意識到自己忘記鎖大門了,你可以打電話給信任的鄰居,讓他們前去你家,幫你鎖好大門。擁有友好并相互照應(yīng)的鄰居是千金難買,但那并不意味著你不應(yīng)該向街對面的新鄰居介紹你自己。

8.一位工作伙伴

你知道嗎?在擁有一份全職工作后,你至少花費(fèi)了50%的醒著的時(shí)間在工作上。不僅僅是那樣,你還要多花費(fèi)些時(shí)間在通勤、思考工作、加班,并且在個(gè)人時(shí)間拓展事業(yè)。真令人沮喪,是不是?

數(shù)據(jù)表明,在工作上越孤立,你就變得越抑郁。這就是為什么需要一個(gè)可以在飲水機(jī)旁聊天并且助你度過一周的工作伙伴。你花50%醒著的時(shí)間在工作上,你的工作伙伴也一樣。與每天獨(dú)自吃午飯相比,你會發(fā)現(xiàn)與合得來的人閑聊或是抱怨工作是更容易的事。

你的工作伙伴不一定要是你工作之外的最好的朋友。他們只需要是你在某種層面上喜歡的人即可。如果你倆一拍即合特別好,那么在辦公室之外你總是可以和他們出去逛。

一生中,有一個(gè)忠實(shí)的最好的朋友、一個(gè)無所畏懼的冒險(xiǎn)者、一位極其誠實(shí)的知己、一位睿智的導(dǎo)師、一個(gè)來自不同文化的朋友、一個(gè)完全對立的朋友、一個(gè)友好的鄰居以及一個(gè)工作伙伴,你必將活得長久而快樂。

(譯者 isabelyang 編輯 丹妮)

 

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