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記錄:初為人父90天

Your first 90 days as a father

中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)網(wǎng) 2014-05-26 09:12

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記錄:初為人父90天

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Every day will be hard, but they're supposed to be, aren't they? And most days will be amazing. They should be, too.

Day 1: Buckle up! The day of your child's birth is a wild ride that features a bit of everything: tension, anticipation, sleep deprivation, delirious joy, friends, family, in-laws and sketchy hospital food. There is no moment that compares to holding your baby for the first time. You are relieved and overjoyed, yet feel the arrival of massive responsibility. You truly feel like an adult now. Try to be cool, calm and supportive throughout.

Day 2: Unless you're a firefighter, you might never get used to interrupted sleep. Agree to take the early-morning stretch: You're awake well before work, alone with your baby, watching the sunrise -- and watching him watch the sunrise. Getting him to fall asleep in your arms is the dad skill sine qua non.

Day 3: Your meals are now eaten in shifts, amid the plaintive, desperate screams of a newborn. You will understand the importance of the little rituals in your relationship like dinner-table chitchat (sharing moments of your day, the latest gossip, laughter), and now need to create new ones.

Day 7: You agree to buy anything -- swings, bassinets, rockers -- that might make your baby sleep easier. Most of them won't. The fine folks at the Babies 'R' Us return counter seem to be understanding.

Day 10: Outside of work, everything you do will now be subject to interruption. Finishing a meal, seeing a movie all the way through or even making it out the door is an unexpected triumph.

Day 11: On his bad days your baby will cry nonstop, for no discernable reason (he's fed; his diaper is clean; he appears comfortable). You each put hours into calming him, without result. You feel awful losing your temper on a 10-pound little human. You vow to do better next time.

Day 13: There is a song out there, whichever one it is for you, that will calm your screaming baby. Search every stop on the FM dial, the Internet, and your iTunes library until you find it.

Day 15: You will think dark thoughts. Remind yourself your baby won't be this helpless and irascible for long. Everything shall pass. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Day 17: After months of harboring quiet resentment for your childless friends, for the first time, you suddenly -- and most unexpectedly -- feel pity for them.

Day 19: The first text from your partner that involves adult conversation instead of baby photos, videos, updates or a shopping list will take you back, Proust-like, to your once-glamorous, carefree, kid-free relationship days.

Day 21: Cards. Flowers. Effusive flattery. Find the right moment. Cross your fingers the baby stays asleep.

Day 30: Going anywhere with your baby is an event. A table of pretty girls will turn in unison through the window of a restaurant as you walk by. Old ladies at the market will ask how old he is. Gay men will unfailingly compliment him. He controls a room wherever he goes. You will enjoy the attention.

Day 32: Small disagreements with your partner metastasize into ugly ones as you each become a conduit for all the stress of raising a baby that you can't take out on the baby himself. Be aware of it. Apologize when you're in the wrong.

Day 38: A thousand new photos on your phone since birth. You'll be glad you took every single one. Back 'em up before you run out of memory!

Day 52: Now finally seems like a good time to connect with old friends you haven't seen since they had kids.

Day 61: You discover that introducing your baby to your grandfather and getting that multi-generation photo is one of the more underrated moments in a man's life.

Day 67: It's difficult to walk out the door to work some mornings. You envy your partner getting to spend all day with your baby, and you daydream about all the things you'll do with your family in the coming weekend.

Day 77: Before he was born you promised yourself that you'd keep baby paraphernalia to a minimum. His stuff is now everywhere. Your home feels smaller than ever.

Day 78: Ask for that raise.

Day 80: You swear your partner has never looked this good. And her nascent maternal skills have added a whole other dimension to your affection for her. Let her know -- she needs to hear it more than you realize.

Day 85: A hotly anticipated new restaurant will open, and chances are you won't notice or won't care. If you do go, you'll dine there at 5:45. The hostess will seat you near other young families.

Day 90: There comes a day when you can palpably feel the change -- suddenly your baby is crying less and sleeping more. After 12 manic months of pregnancy and new parenthood, you too have come a long way, and without turning into a hapless TV dad. You realize that more than anything else, babies make you appreciate the present and look forward to the future.

And isn't that ultimately what we all want most in life?

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每一天都是辛苦的一天,但本該如此,不是嗎?當(dāng)然,每一天都充滿驚喜。正如我期待的那樣。

第1天:繃緊神經(jīng)!孩子的降臨意味著一切:緊張,期待,失眠,狂喜,朋友,家人以及粗糙的醫(yī)院餐。世上再?zèng)]有一個(gè)瞬間比起第一次懷抱你的寶貝更令人激動(dòng)。你欣喜若狂,慰藉不已,但隨之而來(lái)的是初為人父的責(zé)任。現(xiàn)在你才真正意識(shí)到自己是個(gè)大人了。學(xué)會(huì)保持冷靜,幫助照顧孩子。


第2天:除非你是消防員,否則你不可能習(xí)慣睡眠被打攪。清晨需要舒展運(yùn)動(dòng)開(kāi)始新的一天:你要早早地起床,帶上你的孩子,一起看日出,他在看日出,你卻在看他。新手爸爸的必備技能就是抱孩子在臂彎間,哄他酣然入睡。


第3天:用餐要分幾次,因?yàn)楹⒆悠鄥柕募饨凶屇悴坏貌环畔峦肟?。你終于明白了生活中那些維系關(guān)系的小儀式的重要性,比如餐桌閑談,彼此交換每天的趣聞,但你卻必須放棄,另尋適合的新方式。


第7天:為了孩子舒適的睡眠,你會(huì)把一切都買(mǎi)回家——秋千、搖籃、搖椅等等。但大部分都不管用。還好“寶媽超市”退貨柜臺(tái)的工作人員足夠通情達(dá)理。


第10天:除去工作時(shí)間,你所做的每件事都會(huì)被打斷。順利地吃一頓飯,看一場(chǎng)電影,甚至是出門(mén)一次都是不小的勝利啊。



第11天:碰上壞日子,你的寶貝會(huì)不知出于什么原因,不停歇地一直哭。你已經(jīng)喂飽他,換好尿布,一切都很舒適,但他就是不停地哭。你們輪流安撫他,但毫無(wú)作用。你對(duì)10磅重的小人發(fā)脾氣,這真是太槽糕了。你發(fā)誓下次會(huì)做得更好。


第13天:總有一首歌能幫你平息嬰兒的尖叫??烊ナ找魴C(jī),網(wǎng)絡(luò)和iTunes音樂(lè)庫(kù)好好找一找吧。


第15天:你會(huì)產(chǎn)生消極的想法。要記得提醒自己,你的寶貝很快就會(huì)長(zhǎng)大,不再無(wú)法自助,暴躁易怒。一切都會(huì)好起來(lái)。別再暗自神傷。


第17天:幾個(gè)月來(lái),你內(nèi)心中對(duì)無(wú)子女的朋友們累積了許多不滿,但你卻第一次為他們感到遺憾。這感覺(jué)來(lái)得突然,出人意料。


第19天:妻子終于傳來(lái)第一封短信,談?wù)摿舜笕说脑掝},而不再是嬰兒照片,視頻,近況以及購(gòu)物單,這才將你拽回從前,那曾輝煌燦爛,無(wú)憂無(wú)慮,沒(méi)有困擾的日子。


第21天:卡片,鮮花,溢美之詞。你要找個(gè)恰當(dāng)?shù)臅r(shí)機(jī)送給你的妻子。上帝保佑那時(shí)你的寶貝正在沉睡。


第30天:走到哪,就把孩子帶到哪。這樣,你經(jīng)過(guò)餐館的時(shí)候,一桌子的漂亮女孩都會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)頭,透過(guò)玻璃朝你看。超市里的婦女們會(huì)問(wèn)寶貝多大了。男同志們則總是贊美之詞不斷。他在哪,哪兒就是焦點(diǎn)。你會(huì)享受到大家的關(guān)注。


第32天:養(yǎng)育孩子帶來(lái)壓力,當(dāng)然不能朝孩子發(fā)泄,夫妻就是彼此的垃圾桶,這容易將小問(wèn)題催化成大矛盾。注意到這點(diǎn),這樣你錯(cuò)了的話就要及時(shí)道歉。


第38天:自孩子出生,手機(jī)里滿滿地全是他的照片。每一張你都很喜歡。記得在手機(jī)內(nèi)存用完之前,做好備份。


第52天:是時(shí)候見(jiàn)見(jiàn)老朋友了。之前他們有了孩子,你們就不怎么聯(lián)系了。


第61天:帶著孩子去拜訪你的祖父,再拍一張四世同堂的家庭合照。這絕對(duì)是一個(gè)人一生中不可忽略的大事。


第67天:總有那么幾天,早晨出門(mén)時(shí)牽掛不已。你羨慕妻子能在家陪著孩子一整天,你做著白日夢(mèng),籌謀著下周的家庭計(jì)劃。


第77天:孩子出生前,你暗暗發(fā)誓,嬰兒用品不再多,夠用就行。你看現(xiàn)在,到處堆滿他的東西,擠得房間都像是變小了。


第78天:要求加薪。


第80天:你贊美妻子,她從未如此美麗。新生的母性光輝另一種程度上更加吸引你,加深你的愛(ài)。說(shuō)給她聽(tīng)—— 她比你認(rèn)為地更需要這些贊美。


第85天:備受矚目的新餐館就要開(kāi)張了,但你大概不會(huì)注意或是不太關(guān)心。就算你獨(dú)自去了,你會(huì)被安排坐在年輕夫妻旁邊,5點(diǎn)45就開(kāi)餐。


第90天:終于,你明顯感覺(jué)到了不同 ,突然之間,你的寶貝哭的少了,睡的多了。在經(jīng)歷了初為人父以來(lái)混亂瘋狂的12周后,你還有很長(zhǎng)的路要走,別不幸變成了電視里的倒霉爸爸。你會(huì)意識(shí)到,是孩子讓你懂得感恩現(xiàn)在,展望未來(lái)。

這不就是最終我們最想要的生活嗎?

(譯者 請(qǐng)叫我長(zhǎng)發(fā) 編輯 丹妮)

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記錄:初為人父90天 記錄:初為人父90天

 

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