“身體語言”這一類詞兒我們早就聽得耳朵長繭了，然而，你真的知道別人對你源源不斷，孜孜不倦地散發(fā)的那些氣場到底暗示著什么嗎？
Interactions can be wrought with mixed signals- saying one thing and non-verbally communicating another. No wonder so many singles report confusion regarding what their date was really thinking or feeling. On the surface, understanding this language can seem very difficult, if not impossible. Not so, if you learn to speak the non-verbal language of process.
交流這種事情其實(shí)最糾結(jié)了，總是有人嘴上說著一套，心里想著一套。怪不得很多單身人士都抱怨說不知道約會對象到底在想什么。不過其實(shí)只要摸清了一些非語言表達(dá)方式的含義，那么看清對方的心思也沒那么難。
The following tips will be presented using examples of naturally (and commonly) reported dating scenarios experienced by singles.
我們搜集了眾多單身人士的約會資料，情景再現(xiàn)般地教給大家怎樣破譯約會的謎題。
1. Eye contact
四目相對型
When you are sitting and talking with your date, do you notice how they look at you, when you or they are speaking? When their eye contact is good, this is a sign that they feel comfortable and interested in you. They are really involved in the interaction and want to be there. It also communicates honesty and sincerity. Conversely, when your date has difficulty making eye contact, this communicates discomfort; lack of interest or it could be extreme shyness. The last would be easy to know if they are a shy person in general.
當(dāng)你們并肩而坐侃侃而談之時(shí)，你有沒有注意過他/她的眼睛？如果對方兩眼一直關(guān)懷著你，那么他/她必然是對你有好感，表示他/她很享受交流的過程，同時(shí)你還能看到對方內(nèi)心深處的坦誠與真摯。反之，如果他/她就是不愿抬眼跟你對望，那么對方要么就是對你沒有好感、提不起興趣，要么就是害羞。是不是害羞一般而言比較容易看出來。
2. Restlessness
坐立不安型
Have you ever experienced the restless date? You know the one. He moves around in his chair, she looks at her watch, and his mind seems somewhere else. He may or may not offer an explanation. What appears to be going on is that her mind IS somewhere else. This behavior communicates a lack of interest or a preoccupation with someone or somewhere else.
跟這種人約會過嗎？男的坐立不安，神情恍惚；女的一會看表，一會提包。這種情況都不需要解釋，兩種可能，一是他/她對你沒有興趣，再者就是他/她心里有事兒，身在曹營心在漢。
3. Looking around at others a lot and not at you
左顧右盼型
Have you ever had the unpleasant experience of being out with someone who watches the crowd the whole time? Perhaps, they just glance furtively (and frequently) around the room? This, of course, signals lack of interest, possible discomfort and a desire to avoid interaction with you. It can also be a general sign of someone who is not trustworthy, or at the very least, hasn't been completely honest/ candid with you.
想想看你好不容易約上一個(gè)他/她出來，對方卻一直關(guān)注著周圍來來往往的人群，沒人可看時(shí)就從天花板到地磚縫上下前后得瞄。你說悲哀不悲哀。這顯示了對方對你不感興趣，可能是覺著跟你在一起不舒服，或者干脆就是躲避跟你談話。反過來，你怎么看他/她？那就是，不值得信任，至少不是那種實(shí)實(shí)誠誠的敞亮人兒。
4. Is noticeably quiet
難開尊口型
Oh, how deafening is silence. It can speak volumes. If your date has little to say to you what does this mean? Maybe they are just not very interested in you. Perhaps they don't think you would care to hear what they have to say. Maybe they think you wouldn't appreciate hearing what they are really thinking. Perhaps they are in an off or sour mood. Only you can interpret this. Be careful not to quickly write it off to something you want it to be, as opposed to what it really is.
沉默，只是沉默，此時(shí)無聲勝有聲。相顧無言其實(shí)能說明很多事。如果你的約會對象跟你玩沉默，這能反映什么問題？可能是他/她對你沒興趣，或者是她認(rèn)為你不太愿意聽她的娓娓道來，再就是他怕自己滔滔不絕的一大堆到你這里會沒有反應(yīng)，又或者他/她是情緒不佳呢。局勢復(fù)雜，只有當(dāng)事者能看清。所以，別對沉默草率地下結(jié)論，因?yàn)槟愫芸赡芫涂村e(cuò)了。
5. Stiffening or closed-in body posture
身體僵硬型
You know what YOU do in uncomfortable situations. You fold your arms tightly across your chest. You stiffen your spine. You tightly cross your legs. You turn your body at an angle away from the person you are facing. You lean away from the person you are with.
在一個(gè)不自在的場合下，相信你也有類似的舉動：脊梁骨發(fā)僵，雙臂交叉放在胸前，雙腿并攏腳下吃勁，面對面時(shí)打偏座避免直面對方，并排坐時(shí)會下意識地把身體往反方向躲……等等。
Of course, the reverse is true when the interaction feels good. You lean forward. Your arms are relaxed or laying open to the person. You face the other person directly. Your posture is relaxed and at ease.
反之如果環(huán)境和交流讓你感到輕松，上面這些舉動就全部會倒過來。你會肘臂前傾，身體放松，面向?qū)Ψ襟w態(tài)舒展，整個(gè)人處于自然輕松的狀態(tài)。
It's fairly easy to interpret the closed-in posture. The other person feels uncomfortable They aren't open to the interaction with you. They would rather not be there.
防御性的姿態(tài)很好分辨，如果對方跟你一起感到不快，他自然不會放松舒展，事實(shí)上，他們巴不得立刻逃離你身邊。
6. Physical Contact
摸摸碰碰型
Perhaps the easiest communication to read correctly is that of touch. If your date avoids taking your hand or putting his arm around you he may be uncomfortable or unsure. He may also be shy, but you would already know that.
諸多交往手段中，可能最不容易誤解的就是身體接觸了。簡單一例，如果你約會的男朋友回避跟你牽手或者不愿意摟你，那么他要么是對你不感冒，要么是對你倆的關(guān)系不確定。當(dāng)然，他仍然可能是因?yàn)楹π撸贿^真如此的話你也早該心里有數(shù)了。
If someone you have been dating for a while begins to exhibit changes in their level of eye contact, body posture, attention to you, availability and/or becomes restless or less communicative, pay attention. Their feelings have shifted. Be careful not to be too quick to explain it away. More than one occurrence should set off your silent alarm. Make sure that what they say matches what they don't say.
如果你察覺到你的那個(gè)他/她有所變化，比如在眼神交流、體態(tài)動作、對你的關(guān)注、陪你的時(shí)間、耐性或者是溝通技巧方面出現(xiàn)異常，那就要注意了，他們對你的好感可能有轉(zhuǎn)變。不要著急對一種異常下結(jié)論，如果以上現(xiàn)象出現(xiàn)兩個(gè)以上，那你可要注意防范他/她變心走人了。所以，觀察的要點(diǎn)是言行一致，表里如一，雙管齊下，雙重考量。
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（來源：北外網(wǎng)院 編輯：崔旭燕）
