我們常有這樣的困惑，不怎么熟的人冷不丁的找上你讓你給TA幫點(diǎn)忙，貌似也不主動(dòng)提報(bào)酬，而且你自己手頭事兒也不少，該答應(yīng)還是不答應(yīng)呢？

傳統(tǒng)上，自己力所能及的小事兒，幫一下也就算了，順?biāo)饲椤２贿^就怕以后人家壓根兒也不記得。

最近越來越多的人主張，你提的要求雖然是我能力范圍內(nèi)的事情，但也是我謀生的本事，辛辛苦苦培養(yǎng)出來的技能要給人免費(fèi)打工，大概沒有人會(huì)樂意。

reddit網(wǎng)站一名網(wǎng)友就有親身經(jīng)歷，他說：

I had my own gig designing...well, everything: websites, logos, ads, brochures, video, etc. Always got asked to do something for free because it “might lead to something else”.
我的工作是設(shè)計(jì)……呃……設(shè)計(jì)很多東西：網(wǎng)站、商標(biāo)、廣告、小冊(cè)子、視頻等等。就老是有人要我免費(fèi)幫TA干活兒，不然就會(huì)“有別的不好的影響”。

Did it a few times, nothing came out of it, then when I wanted to charge for something the person was outraged and basically stopped talking to me.
我也幫過幾次，結(jié)果沒有任何報(bào)酬，然后我就跟人提了收費(fèi)的事兒，結(jié)果人家很生氣，再也沒理過我。

他的經(jīng)歷可能就是你的經(jīng)歷。有人在底下回復(fù)說：

If your friend owns a business, don't ask for a friend discount or for some free products, a great friend is one that pays full price to support their friend. Real friends don't take advantage of their hardworking friends trying to make a living. Real friends try to help them out on their journey.
如果你有個(gè)朋友是做生意的，你就別叫人家給你打折或者免費(fèi)了，好朋友就應(yīng)該付全款支持自己的朋友才對(duì)。真朋友是不會(huì)從自己朋友謀生的血汗里面撈好處的。真朋友會(huì)一路幫他們。

應(yīng)付這樣的情況也有妙招，有一名網(wǎng)友就支招說：

That has happened to me so many times it stopped bothering me. People think nothing of asking their friend the designer to work for free. I started telling people that their design was going to take me an hour, cutting my grass takes an hour. If they'll come cut my grass I'll spend that hour working on their project.
我以前也碰到過好多次這樣的事兒，現(xiàn)在我已經(jīng)不受這些事困擾了。有人叫人幫忙設(shè)計(jì)個(gè)啥的時(shí)候根本不會(huì)想到要給報(bào)酬。我后來就開始告訴他們，設(shè)計(jì)這個(gè)要花上我一個(gè)小時(shí)，我割個(gè)草也要一小時(shí)。如果你愿意過來幫過修剪草坪，我就幫你設(shè)計(jì)。

NOBODY has ever taken me up on it including the two friends with lawn care businesses. These days I just say no, I'm too backed up with paying work.
后來就再也沒有人叫我免費(fèi)打工了，甚至包括兩個(gè)做割草生意的朋友?，F(xiàn)在我就直接拒絕，我十分支持有償勞動(dòng)。

有償勞動(dòng)的確是必要的，畢竟現(xiàn)在的人到手的工資本就不多，北上廣深的話交個(gè)房租等于腰斬，都沒錢在啤酒里泡枸杞了。

Reddit網(wǎng)站對(duì)于現(xiàn)代社交總結(jié)了許多tips，我們匯編了一些，分享給大家。

If you are the only one trying to maintain a friendship, they aren't your friend and your time and energy would be better spent somewhere else.
如果在一段友情里，你是那個(gè)唯一想要維護(hù)友情的人，那他們就不是你的朋友。你也不需要把時(shí)間和精力花在這兒。

If someone is clearly depressed, prefers alone time, or needs your help before something bad happens, this is not the tip for you to follow. Please reach out to that person and let them know you care.
如果你的朋友的確很沮喪，想要一個(gè)人靜靜，或者是為了避免更糟糕的情況，急需你的幫助，那就別拋棄他們。一定要伸出援手，讓他們知道你很在乎他們。

But if you have friends who you consistently try to make plans with, they decline or take a rain check with a "oh we'll have to hang out soon" and never get back with you, yet you see them out with other friends all the time, then yes, this is very applicable. You deserve better friends.
不過如果你的朋友是你老是得為TA改變計(jì)劃的那種——他們要么拒絕，要么說“下次吧”、“改天我們?cè)俪鋈ネ鎯骸?，結(jié)果后來也沒回音了，但是你卻看到TA有時(shí)間天天和別人出去玩兒——那，該怎么做你很清楚。你值得更好的朋友。

If you really want to connect with someone, take them for a long, scenic walk. Not being face to face takes some of the pressure off, and the scenery puts you in the right mood to open up.
如果你很想和某個(gè)人加深關(guān)系，不妨帶TA們出去散個(gè)步，周邊景致很好可以散很久的那種。免去了面對(duì)面的交流可以消除一部分社交壓力，而且優(yōu)美的風(fēng)景能讓你們心情好得敞開心扉。

Don't ask people if they're free on a certain date without specifying why you're asking. Simply asking "are you free on Friday?" comes across like you're tricking the other person into doing whatever it is you want them to do.
先說清楚自己的目的，再問人家某天是否有空。如果只是問“周五你有空嗎”這樣的問題就會(huì)給人感覺你在誘使他們?nèi)プ瞿阕约合胱屗麄冏龅氖虑椤?/p>

If you constantly vent your problems to someone, make sure to also call them when things are going well. Good listeners can sometimes get overwhelmed, and it's nice to hear positive news. To add to that, also make sure you're available to let them vent their problems. Relationships are a two way street.
如果你不停地跟某個(gè)人訴苦，那最好在事情步入正軌之后給TA們一個(gè)信兒。貼心的傾聽者們有時(shí)候也會(huì)懵，所以最好讓他們收到好消息。另外還有一點(diǎn)就是，你自己也得保證有空聽他們倒苦水。畢竟人際關(guān)系是雙向的。

If you have a chore that you actually enjoy, never tell anyone you enjoy it.
如果有一件其實(shí)你很喜歡做的雜務(wù)，千萬不要告訴任何人！

You'll do that chore for the rest of your days, even if you stop enjoying it.
要么你就得做一輩子，哪怕之后你不再喜歡做這件事了……

You get no credit for doing that chore, since it’s really not even a chore, right?
要么再也不會(huì)有人因?yàn)槟阕龅倪@件事情表揚(yáng)你了，畢竟對(duì)你來講不算是雜務(wù)了，不是嗎？

編輯：李雪晴