如果一個(gè)人和你約會(huì)后就不見蹤影，可能有多方面原因，并不是因?yàn)槟悴粔蚝谩?/p>

Men and women come in several behavioural layers. As such, one might not feel connected to his/her date regardless of how beautiful and intelligent the person may appear.

每個(gè)人的行為都很復(fù)雜，有時(shí)會(huì)讓人捉摸不透。因此，無論約會(huì)對(duì)象看起來多美麗、多聰明，有時(shí)你可能仍會(huì)感到與他/她之間有些距離感。

Getting a call back is not entirely dependent on how well the date goes. A date can go sour and afterward, the person would reach out. Also, it could go well and you get ghosted.

并不是說約會(huì)順利對(duì)方就會(huì)給你回電話?？赡芗s會(huì)不太順利，對(duì)方事后仍主動(dòng)聯(lián)系你；也有可能進(jìn)展順利，你卻被甩了。

Ghosting, after a date, is based on different reasons and some far from how the date turns out. However, getting ghosted is not a gender-specific experience, men get ghosted just as women do after a date. Although, it is arguable that women get ghosted more than men, after a date.

約會(huì)對(duì)象在一次約會(huì)后突然消失，原因多種多樣，有些原因甚至與約會(huì)進(jìn)展毫不相關(guān)，與性別也同樣不相關(guān)。約會(huì)后女性可能會(huì)被甩，男性也可能會(huì)。但總的來看，女性在約會(huì)后被甩的次數(shù)比男性多。

“被人甩”可能會(huì)讓你讓感到生氣、難過，也可能讓你感到困惑。你開始自我懷疑：我做錯(cuò)了什么嗎？我說錯(cuò)了什么嗎？我看起來不夠好嗎？

其實(shí)，正是因?yàn)槟愫图s會(huì)對(duì)象沒有溝通交流，所以你才不知道自己為什么會(huì)被甩。就算你自以為約會(huì)進(jìn)行得很順利，你也會(huì)覺得，發(fā)短信或打電話說這些實(shí)在難以啟齒，對(duì)吧？

According to Natalie Jones, a doctor of psychology, someone's reason for ghosting you has little to do with you. She suggests that it could be a result of attachment issues, emotional level, and several more.

心理學(xué)博士娜塔麗·瓊斯說，有人把你甩了這事與你自身沒太大關(guān)系。她說，這可能是因?yàn)閻勰?、個(gè)人情緒或其他因素。

人們在約會(huì)后杳無音訊（ghost after a date），主要有以下五個(gè)原因：

1. 他們不想作出承諾

They are not into commitments

人們約會(huì)的目的各不相同。有的人是喜歡和別人一起吃飯，有的人是想找新歡，有的人則是為了找一個(gè)終身伴侶。

When your motive doesn't match theirs, there is a possibility, you won't be getting a call or text back, after the day out together. Commitment in a relationship is a big step and certain people are not in that frame of mind to take the step. If building a relationship is the next step you intend to take and it isn’t theirs, then the probability of ghosting you after the date is high, regardless of how connected you might feel or not. No one likes to take up what they are not ready for.

若你們的動(dòng)機(jī)迥然，有可能約會(huì)了一天，對(duì)方卻不給你回電話或回短信。在一段關(guān)系中，承諾是重要一步，而某些人卻無心邁出這一步。如果你接下來打算建立關(guān)系，而對(duì)方卻沒這個(gè)意向，那么就算你覺得和對(duì)方很親近，對(duì)方依舊會(huì)甩了你。你想更進(jìn)一步，而對(duì)方可能并沒有做好準(zhǔn)備。

2. 她/他心里還有別人

There is someone else in the picture

并非每個(gè)與別人約會(huì)的人都是單身。

Not everyone that goes on a date is completely single. Matter of fact, there is no rule against hitched individuals going on a date with a single person. Sometimes, hitched individuals go on dates to relieve themselves of stress from their partner, or just to experience hanging out with someone new. If you happen to go on a date with someone in this category, getting ghosted is very possible. A married person or someone in a serious relationship will not totally commit to someone single. Except the thought of being a side-chick or side-guy is appealing to you.

并非每個(gè)去約會(huì)的人都是單身。其實(shí)，沒人規(guī)定已婚人士不能與單身人士約會(huì)。有時(shí)，已婚人士去約會(huì)是為了減輕來自伴侶的壓力，或只是為了體驗(yàn)新鮮感。如果你碰巧是和這類人約會(huì)，你很有可能會(huì)被甩。非單身人士不會(huì)給一個(gè)單身的人以承諾，除非你想當(dāng)?shù)谌摺?/p>

3. 他們已經(jīng)得手了

They got what they wanted

一旦約會(huì)對(duì)象從你們的約會(huì)中得到了想要的東西，他們可能會(huì)就此消失。

Dates can be beautiful and romantic, so much that an instant connection happens and sparks fly. This could lead to having sex, transferring money, or giving out a piece of vital information that helps the other person. For some people that have the motive of gaining something from the date asides from getting to know you, when they get what they want, there is likely to be no text or call back. You get ghosted.

約會(huì)是美麗而浪漫的，你們或許會(huì)一見鐘情，干柴烈火。你們可能會(huì)發(fā)生關(guān)系，可能會(huì)給對(duì)方花錢，也可能會(huì)向?qū)Ψ酵嘎吨匾挠欣畔ⅰ?duì)于一些人來說，除了了解你之外，他們只想從約會(huì)中得到他們想要的東西。當(dāng)他們得手時(shí)，就不會(huì)給你回短信或者回電話了。你，被甩了。

4. 他們有點(diǎn)焦慮

They have anxiety issues

約會(huì)完玩消失，可能只是因?yàn)槟愕募s會(huì)對(duì)象有點(diǎn)兒焦慮。

Getting ghosted could be a result of fear. There are people who battle with anxiety birthed from fear. The fear of not being enough and lovable, which could be a result of past failed relationships. This type of people hold back from reaching out after a date, to avoid going through such again. Even when the date goes well, It seems too good to be true. Dr. Jones says "they may do things to self-sabotage, like ghosting".

約會(huì)完玩消失可能是因?yàn)樗麄兒ε隆Ｓ行┤藭?huì)因?yàn)楹ε露a(chǎn)生焦慮情緒。他們可能因?yàn)檫^去談過幾次失敗的戀愛，所以害怕自己不夠好，不夠可愛。這種人在約會(huì)后忍住不主動(dòng)聯(lián)系對(duì)方，以免再次失敗。如果約會(huì)進(jìn)行得很順利，他們會(huì)覺得美好得太不真實(shí)了。瓊斯博士說：“他們可能會(huì)自暴自棄，比如玩消失?！?/p>

5. 他們對(duì)你沒興趣

Not interested

無論約會(huì)進(jìn)展是否順利，如果約會(huì)對(duì)象不喜歡你，那么你就很可能約會(huì)完就被甩。

The preference of what people desire in a partner varies. In most cases, if their date doesn’t measure up to what they desire, they ghost. People have a mental picture of what they want their partner to look like. Although, love happens and some people end up with the total opposite of what they initially pictured. Several others stick to what they have pictured.

每個(gè)人心目中理想伴侶的樣子可能都不盡相同。通常來說，如果約會(huì)與他們的期望不符，他們約會(huì)完就會(huì)消失。然而，有時(shí)候雖然你和對(duì)方的理想型完全相反，你們?nèi)钥赡軙?huì)愛上對(duì)方。但有的人則會(huì)堅(jiān)持尋找自己心中的那個(gè)人。

（來源：中國日?qǐng)?bào)雙語新聞微信  編輯：商楨、丹妮）