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The manner by which a mother interacts with her friends serves as a role model for how an adolescent child develops his/her own peer friendships. Unfortunately, teens often pick up on the negative elements in a relationship, such as conflict and antagonism, and then copy these attitudes into their own relationships. The new study investigated a previously understudied association —how a parent’s friendships influence the emotional well-being of their adolescent children. For the study, doctoral student Gary Glick and Amanda Rose, Ph.D., studied the development of friendships and other peer relationships during adolescence and their impact on psychological adjustment. They found that adolescents may mimic the negative characteristics of their mothers’ relationships in their own peer-to-peer friendships suggesting that mothers can serve as role models for their adolescents during formative years. Additional findings suggest that adolescents internalize their reactions to their mothers’ conflict with adult friends which may lead to anxietyand depression. Previous research of this type focused on elementary-aged children, but MU researchers wanted to expand their study to focus on the formative adolescent years. Youth ranging in age from 10 to 17 and their mothers were polled separately to measure perceived positive and negative friendship qualities in both groups. Results showed that positive friendship qualities were not always imitated by adolescents; however, negative and antagonistic relationship characteristics exhibited by mothers were much more likely to be mimicked by the youth studied. “We know that conflict is a normal part of any relationship —be it a relationship between a parent and a child, or a mother and her friends —and we’re not talking physical altercations but verbal conflicts,” Glick said. “But being exposed to high levels of such conflict generally isn’t going to be good for children. Parents should consider whether they are good role models for their children especially where their friends are concerned. When things go awry, parents should talk with their children about how to act with their friends, but more specifically, how not to act.” |
媽媽們與朋友之間的相處方式，在一定程度上是給未成年孩子們處理自己同齡人間友情的一種示范。 不幸的是，青少年往往會(huì)挑出那些處理友情的消極做法，比如鬧別扭，對(duì)著干，然后把這些消極的態(tài)度搬到自己的友情處理模式中。 新的一項(xiàng)研究調(diào)查表明，過去一項(xiàng)并未被充分研究的問題——家長的交友模式是如何影響他們的未成年孩子原本存在的純潔情感的。 在讀博士加里格里克和哲學(xué)博士阿曼達(dá)後瑟對(duì)于青少年如何處理友情的不同階段發(fā)展變化、其他同齡青少年的交友方式及其對(duì)心理調(diào)適的影響，進(jìn)行了研究和分析。 他們?cè)谘芯恐邪l(fā)現(xiàn)，青少年模仿媽媽們?cè)诮挥烟幚韱栴}上一些不好的做法然后照搬到自己的交友模式中，這也同樣表明了媽媽們?cè)诮挥阎郎蠈?duì)孩子們起到的模范作用是十分重要的。 另外研究還發(fā)現(xiàn)，青少年孩子們面對(duì)媽媽們與成年朋友間的一些爭執(zhí)和對(duì)立產(chǎn)生的心理反應(yīng)和采取的內(nèi)心回應(yīng)致使他們出現(xiàn)消沉和焦慮的心理癥狀。 以前對(duì)于這個(gè)問題的研究集中在了小學(xué)學(xué)齡的兒童上，研究學(xué)者們希望把研究對(duì)象擴(kuò)大并集中在青春期形成階段的青少年們。 專家們對(duì)一些10到17歲的青少年進(jìn)行實(shí)驗(yàn)研究，并將他們的母親分開實(shí)驗(yàn)，在兩組中分別地紀(jì)錄了一些她們積極和消極的交友做法。 實(shí)驗(yàn)結(jié)果顯示，積極的關(guān)系處理做法并不總是被青少年們采納；然而，消極的關(guān)系處理做法，甚至是一些對(duì)立關(guān)系的做法卻更容易被孩子們模仿和接受。 “我們都知道爭執(zhí)矛盾是任何人物關(guān)系中很正常的一部分 － 不論是家長和孩子的關(guān)系中還是母親們的交友關(guān)系中 － 我們不是在說身體上的爭執(zhí)而是言語上的對(duì)立。” 博士格里克這樣講道。 “然而如此過激的對(duì)立暴露在孩子們面前是十分不可取的，這樣對(duì)孩子百害無一利。家長們的應(yīng)該考慮到自身的所作所為、言談舉止是否成為孩子們的榜樣和示范，特別是當(dāng)他們學(xué)到的舉止言行影響到交友和朋友的關(guān)系上的時(shí)候。當(dāng)發(fā)現(xiàn)苗頭不對(duì)，家長應(yīng)該和孩子們進(jìn)行談心，告訴他們?cè)撊绾螌?duì)待朋友，更重要的是，什么是不該做的。 （譯者 劉曉蒙 編輯 丹妮） |
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