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Despite the fact that we’ve just had Christmas and New Year, the world decided that some of us needed yet another reminder of how sad and alone we are. Enter Valentine’s Day, a faux semi-holiday that was invented to stimulate the sales of the floral, jewelry, chocolate and suicide hotline industries. In case you find yourself partner-free this February 14th, here is some proof that you can totally rock the day, singles style. 1. Party Why sit around wallowing in self pity when you can be out having a good time. If you’re invited to a V-Day party, go. Who cares if it’s going to mostly be couples. You get the chance to drink and eat on somebody else’s dime while observing things going on around you. Perhaps there’ll be some hotties there, or maybe just couples pretending not to be in a fight over inadequate Valentines gifts. Either way, there will be good times! Alternatively, you can throw your own party with an appropriate theme such as “historical couples” or “horror movie characters.” 2. Treat Yourself The upside to not having a valentine is not being obliged to spend of your pay check on a gift for someone. Instead, I recommend that you: We can sometimes put so much time and energy into other people that we forget about ourselves. So why not make this Valentine’s Day all about you? Whether your idea of indulgence is a massage, a new game or an entire pot pie to yourself, do it. Frankly, I’d go for all three. 3. Have an Awesome Night Out Just because it’s Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you’re forbidden to go out on the town. I say take it back. Grab some friends and tear it up over some drinks and great food. I’m not even going to advocate the idea that you might meet somebody while out, because that shouldn’t be your focus. If it happens, great, but don’t go into the night with that expectation. Just have fun. 4. Have an Awesome Night In Why does everyone seem to think that staying in is so lame? I honestly think that rocking V-Day from he lounge room could be amazing. Order in from your favorite takeout, get a bottle of something delicious and fire up the old blu-ray player. 5. Spread the Non-Romantic Love Not in a venereal disease type of way. Just because you don’t have a romantic partner this Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean there isn’t at least one “special someone” in your life. I’m talking about friends and family, and they deserve love too. Send some flowers to your mum, treat your dad to a nice bottle of scotch, or send some nice and/or purposely terrible cards to your friends. 6. GTFO Why not take the opportunity to get out and do something you wouldn’t usually do. Whether it be a local game or exhibit, or even an overnight stay somewhere, take the opportunity to break your normal routine and GTFO. 7. Secret Santa—Valentines Style Yeah, I’m making it a thing. Let’s call it Secret Casanova, because why not? Gather a group of friends together, draw names and then buy a nice gift for your chosen person. Alternatively, you can purposely buy crappy or funny gifts just for the fun of it. In that case, I recommend naming the game Sloppy Casanova. 8. Volunteer Nothing will make you forget the heinous commercialism of Valentine’s Day more than doing volunteer work. You’ll quickly realize that while the rest of the Western world is wondering how big a bouquet should be, some people have bigger things to worry about, like food and shelter. Get some perspective. 9. Watch Valentine’s Day This movie is so bad that watching it will make you glad you’re not getting involved in this pre-determined day of love. It may also make you vomit it a bit. 10. Business as Usual If nothing else on this list inspires you, I recommend simply doing nothing. Stop the day from having any power over you by treating it like any other. It may be slightly difficult to ignore the red and pink floral explosions throughout the office, but you don’t have to let that make you act any differently. Flip Valentine’s Day the bird and move on. If it makes you feel any better, you’re probably happier than the woman in the next cubicle over whose boyfriend didn’t get her anything because he forgot/”doesn’t believe in it”/is too busy with his mistress. |
盡管我們剛過(guò)了圣誕節(jié)和新年，另外一個(gè)節(jié)日又要提醒我們多么孤獨(dú)悲傷。那就是情人節(jié)，人們?cè)O(shè)立了這個(gè)半假日來(lái)增加鮮花、珠寶、巧克力的銷售，自殺熱線產(chǎn)業(yè)也更為火爆。如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)沒有人陪你度過(guò)2月14日這一天，通過(guò)以下單身者的方式你也可以過(guò)得很嗨。 1.聚會(huì) 既然能外出度過(guò)一個(gè)好時(shí)光，又何必閑坐著自我憐憫呢。如果有人邀請(qǐng)你去參加情人節(jié)聚會(huì)，那就去吧。誰(shuí)在乎是不是大部分人都和情人一起去的呢。你有機(jī)會(huì)在別處吃喝，觀察著周圍的事情。也許會(huì)有些美女，也許有些夫妻假裝著并沒有因?yàn)榍槿斯?jié)禮物不合適而爭(zhēng)吵。不管怎樣，你會(huì)過(guò)得很開心的！你也可以給自己的聚會(huì)一個(gè)合適的主題，如“歷史夫妻”、“恐怖電影人物”。 2. 款待自己 沒有情人的好處就是不必為別人花錢買禮物。于是，我建議你：款待自己。有時(shí)候我們花很多時(shí)間和精力在別人身上而忘了自己。那么何不為自己過(guò)這個(gè)情人節(jié)呢？不管你覺得按摩、玩新游戲還是吃一整個(gè)餡餅是一種享受，選你喜歡的去做吧。說(shuō)實(shí)話，這三個(gè)我都會(huì)去做。 3. 出去過(guò)一個(gè)愉快的晚上 情人節(jié)并不意味著你在小鎮(zhèn)里不能外出。找?guī)讉€(gè)朋友去喝點(diǎn)酒，吃點(diǎn)大餐。我并不贊成你外出時(shí)會(huì)遇到喜歡的人這種觀點(diǎn)，這不應(yīng)該是你關(guān)注的重心。如果你真的遇到喜歡的人，那很好，但不要帶著這種期待外出。只要玩得高興就行。 4. 在家過(guò)一個(gè)愉快的晚上 為什么似乎所有人都覺得待在家里很無(wú)聊呢？說(shuō)實(shí)話，我覺得在自己的客廳里過(guò)情人節(jié)會(huì)好得驚人。從你最喜歡的外賣店叫個(gè)外賣，喝瓶可口的飲料，打開古老的藍(lán)光播放器。 5. 傳遞非浪漫的愛 并不是傳播性病。 這個(gè)情人節(jié)你沒有一個(gè)浪漫的情人并不意味著你的生命中沒有一個(gè)“特殊的人”。我說(shuō)的是你的朋友和家人，他們也需要愛。給你媽媽寄一些花，請(qǐng)你爸爸喝瓶蘇格蘭威士忌，或者給你的朋友寄一些漂亮的和/或故意惡搞的卡片。 6. 外出 何不借此機(jī)會(huì)出去做些你通常不會(huì)做的事情呢。不管是玩本地游戲、參加展覽會(huì)或者在其他地方過(guò)夜，你可以借此機(jī)會(huì)打破常規(guī)，出去做些事情。 7. 神秘圣誕老人——情人風(fēng)格 是的，這就是我要說(shuō)的。我們稱情人節(jié)為神秘卡薩諾瓦吧，因?yàn)闉槭裁床贿@樣叫呢？和幾個(gè)朋友一起玩抽名字吧，給你抽到的那個(gè)人買個(gè)漂亮的禮物?；蛘吣阋部梢怨室赓I差勁的或搞笑的禮物，只是為了取樂。如果是那樣，我建議把這個(gè)游戲命名為粗心的卡薩諾瓦。 8. 志愿者 沒有什么能比做志愿者工作更能使你忘記情人節(jié)可惡的商業(yè)主義。你很快就會(huì)意識(shí)到當(dāng)西方世界中的人們?cè)谙胍粋€(gè)花束應(yīng)該多大時(shí)，有些人還在擔(dān)心更重要的事情，如食物和住所。了解一下這些方面吧。 9. 看電影《情人節(jié)》 這個(gè)電影很糟糕，看這個(gè)電影會(huì)使你慶幸自己不用過(guò)這個(gè)固定的表達(dá)愛意的節(jié)日。這個(gè)電影還有可能使你吐槽一番。 10. 照常工作 如果你不喜歡上述的幾種方式，我建議你什么都不要做了。像往常一樣對(duì)待這一天，這一天就不會(huì)對(duì)你有什么影響?？赡芤雎赞k公室各處紅色和粉色的鮮花略微有些困難，但你不必讓這影響你的行為。忘掉情人節(jié)，做你自己的事。如果這使你感覺好些的話，你可能比下一個(gè)隔間的女人更快樂，她的男朋友什么也沒給她買，可能是因?yàn)樗?，或他不相信情人?jié)，或忙著照顧自己的情婦呢。 （譯者 龐欣欣 編輯 丹妮） |
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