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A little over a year ago, I would probably have dismissed Amanda Holden’s newly revealed ambition to become a “young grandmother” as absurd. I would have raised my eyebrows and frowned (something Amanda herself might find hard to do) at the idea that the 43-year-old actress and Britain’s Got Talent judge was interested in anything other than turning back time. What woman – I used to think – would seriously be anxious to undergo the most ageing experience of her life? Particularly Ms Holden, who was pictured just days ago slipping out to supper in white shorts and six-inch stilettos? “Young grandmother”, I always thought, was the ultimate contradiction in terms. But 12 and a half months after the arrival of my granddaughter Edie, I now know how wrong I was – and how right Amanda is to worry that she won’t get to be a granny until she is 80. Far from turning my hair grey and hastening the advent of false teeth and Tena Lady Pants, grandparenting has been ridiculously rejuvenating and made me just a little smug that – unlike Amanda and an increasing number of other women today – I had children in my twenties (Amanda had her first daughter at 34 and her second at 41). Indeed the “Edie Effect” on my life – for which, thank you, Bryony and Harry – has turned out to be the most marvellous anti-ageing procedure anyone could imagine, to a point that is very nearly infantile (particularly when my granddaughter and I are crawling round the house together whooping with laughter). More uninhibited and less pressured as a young grandmother than I was when I was a young mother, I can live in the moment with Edie, happily spending hours sitting in the garden looking for “birdies” (her favourite thing right now) and singing along with Igglepiggle and Upsy Daisy as we watch In the Night Garden on CBeebies (a programme that makes Mummy ill). Sadly, though, the pleasure and privilege of being a young grandmother is something that more and more women will miss out on as the move to later motherhood continues (three babies a week are now being to women in their sixth decade). As a result, among my own peer group (women in their sixth decade!) there are clear signs of the development of “granny envy”. It is only with my friends who are also grandmothers that I can really relax and talk with undiluted sentimentality about the beauty and the brilliance of “my Edie Bear”. Just as motherhood is a universal bond, so is grand-motherhood – and, yes, maybe there is an element of competition also, that makes me sometimes check myself when I overhear the oft-repeated words: “Oh, she’s so bright/adorable/funny/beautiful…” But there is a practical and quite serious reason, too, for Amanda Holden’s admitted desire to be a young grandmother. In an age when financial pressure means that both parents often have to work and child care is so prohibitive, granny (and granddad) provide a vital support. Britain’s 9.8 million-strong army of us look after our grandchildren for an average 8.2 hours a week (saving our children between ￡1,659 and ￡2,437 a year). And while in your fifties and sixties you are mentally alert enough to cope with things such as collapsing and reassembling a Bugaboo Cameleon, operating a digital baby monitor or using the microwave steam steriliser, you might have trouble in your seventies and eighties. Being a hands-on granny demands a degree of physical fitness, too, that may be beyond those who have health problems. On the plus side, for the young granny this physical effort can make a welcome alternative to the punishing regimes non-grannies still endure (who needs Bikram yoga or Pilates when you can have a hilarious “babyweight” workout dancing Edie round the room to the tune of Pharrell Williams singing Happy?) On the downside, of course, we young grandmothers do still have to cope with the prejudices of the rest of society: those who will call you “Granny” in a way that is beyond patronising and seem to think that your only possible interests in life are baking, knitting, gardening and Saga holidays. But if the rest of the world might think you are past it, your darling little grandchild has no conception of age. Indeed, he or she offers you the kind of adoration (and endless cuddles) that more than makes up for the ageism of grown-ups – and, what’s more, gives you the strength to blow raspberries back at them. |
近日英國女演員兼《英國達人》評審阿曼達?霍爾頓（Amanda Holden）表示希望自己能做個“年輕的祖母”。一年多前，我也許會認(rèn)為這個想法很荒謬。 當(dāng)時要是聽到這位43歲的演員只熱衷于讓時光倒流，我也許會揚起眉毛、眉頭深鎖。 我過去常想什么樣的女人會真的擔(dān)心衰老呢？霍爾頓就是個例子，媒體幾天前拍到她身穿白色熱褲，蹬著6英寸的細(xì)高跟鞋外出吃晚餐。 我一直認(rèn)為“年輕的祖母”是個最自相矛盾的說法了。 12個半月前，我的孫女伊迪(Edie)的降世，我才意識到自己真是大錯特錯。阿曼達擔(dān)心自己80歲才能當(dāng)上祖母完全是有道理的。現(xiàn)在，我離滿頭白發(fā)、一口假牙和穿成人紙尿褲的歲數(shù)還有好長一段時間。作為一個祖母，我仍然神采煥發(fā)，這讓我慶幸自己在20多歲就生了小孩，而不像阿曼達和越來越多的女性那樣推遲生育（阿曼達34歲生第一個女兒，41歲生第二個女兒）。 的確“伊迪效應(yīng)”（Eddie Effect）（這點我真得感謝我的女兒和女婿）讓我體驗了他人無法想象的逆生長經(jīng)歷，尤其當(dāng)我和孫女一塊在房子四周爬來爬去大聲歡笑時，我甚至覺得自己回到了嬰兒時期。 與剛當(dāng)上母親那會相比，我現(xiàn)在更加無拘無束，也沒什么壓力。我可以活在當(dāng)下，花上幾個小時和伊迪一起坐在花園里找“小鳥兒”（這是伊迪現(xiàn)在最喜歡的東西），看動畫片《花園寶寶》(In the Night Garden on CBeebies)時跟著“花園寶寶”一起唱歌。 遺憾的是，由于越來越多女性推遲生育年齡（現(xiàn)在每周出生的嬰兒中平均有三個是60歲年齡段女性所生），她們無法享受年輕祖母的快樂和好處了。 所以看得出來，我的同齡人（60多歲的女性）明顯在羨慕那些當(dāng)祖母的人。 我只有和那些同樣當(dāng)了祖母的朋友在一起時才能真正放心暢談我漂亮聰明的孫女。 和母愛一樣，祖母對孫輩的感情也同樣強烈。當(dāng)然了，也許也有競爭的因素作祟，所以有時候,當(dāng)我無意間聽到那些不斷提及的溢美之詞時，例如“哦，她太聰明了”、“真可愛！”、“太有趣了”或“真漂亮”，有時我總是會忍不住沾沾自喜。 不過就阿曼達?霍爾頓想早點當(dāng)上祖母這件事來說，也有實際和嚴(yán)肅的考慮?，F(xiàn)在人們的經(jīng)濟壓力很大，父母不得不忙于工作而無法照料孩子，祖母（和祖父）能提供重要幫助。 英國980萬的“祖父母軍團”每周平均照料祖孫8.2個小時（每年能為子女省下1659至2437英鎊。） 五六十歲的時候，你還能有很好的精神狀態(tài)來拆分或組裝嬰兒車、操縱嬰兒監(jiān)控器或使用微波蒸汽消毒機，但到了七八十歲的時候，干這些事可能就沒這么輕松了。 當(dāng)一個親力親為的祖母意味著要有個好身體，而有健康問題的人可能就沒辦法勝任了。 當(dāng)年輕祖母的一個好處是，你可以把帶孩子當(dāng)成一種鍛煉，不用像那些沒當(dāng)上祖母的同齡人那樣費力地運動。（和伊迪這樣一個孫女一起隨著美國歌手法瑞爾?威廉姆斯（Pharrell Williams）的歌《快樂》（Happy）在房子四周跑跑跳跳，誰還需要練熱瑜伽呢？） 當(dāng)然，這也有壞處。我們這些年輕的祖母還是不得不面對社會上的一些偏見：那些屈尊俯就地叫你一聲“奶奶”的人似乎認(rèn)為我們的生活樂趣只不過是烘焙、織毛衣、照料花園和隨團旅行。 但就算整個世界都認(rèn)為你老得不中用了，你可愛的孫子或?qū)O女可沒有年齡的概念。他們對你的那種尊敬（和數(shù)不盡的擁抱）很好地彌補了成年人對你的年齡歧視，還讓你信心滿滿地予以還擊。 （譯者 soniali2003 編輯 丹妮） 掃一掃，關(guān)注微博微信
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