即使從未見(jiàn)面，依然可以相戀。歷史上從來(lái)不乏“見(jiàn)字如面”的愛(ài)情，而互聯(lián)網(wǎng)的出現(xiàn)，更是徹底打開(kāi)了網(wǎng)戀的大門。

Falling in love sight unseen, often through the written word, has been happening for centuries. The Web has only made it easier.

網(wǎng)戀為何越來(lái)越普遍？一項(xiàng)研究表明，網(wǎng)戀的魅力在于，人們更容易找到與自己興趣相投的對(duì)象。

What makes these digital relationships successful? According to a study, one of the key draws of Internet relationships of all kinds is the ability to find people who like the same stuff that you do.

人們都說(shuō)愛(ài)情是“盲目”的，有時(shí)看不見(jiàn)對(duì)方，反而容易產(chǎn)生好感。一項(xiàng)著名的實(shí)驗(yàn)叫做“黑暗中的偏差”，實(shí)驗(yàn)者將受試者安排在明、暗兩個(gè)房間，分別觀察他們的社交活動(dòng)。

Love can be blind literally. One of the most famous studies is "Deviance In The Dark," in which interactions between students were observed in both pitch-dark and well-lit rooms.

比起光亮下的面談，在黑暗環(huán)境中，受試者更能敞開(kāi)心扉，與同伴互動(dòng)。換言之，在減輕面對(duì)面的壓力以后，人們更愿意做回自己，也更愿意了解他人。

Those who met in the dark room, on the whole, were much more open and intimate with their fellow participants than those who met face-to-face under the fluorescents. In short: When you get rid of all the stress attached to face-to-face meetings, people feel more free to be themselves and get to know each other.

然而，網(wǎng)戀究竟是真愛(ài)還是錯(cuò)覺(jué)，這一點(diǎn)仍有待商榷。戀愛(ài)心理指導(dǎo)戴安娜·多雷爾聲稱，如果沒(méi)在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中見(jiàn)過(guò)面，你愛(ài)的很可能只是那個(gè)人的人設(shè)，而非本身。

Diana Dorell, an intuitive dating coach, explained that "without real-life contact, you run the risk of developing strong feelings for the idea of someone, not the person themselves."

如果無(wú)法見(jiàn)面，但可以視頻的話，會(huì)不會(huì)好一些呢？臨床心理學(xué)家約書(shū)亞·卡拉普表示，雖然視頻通話比短信、郵件和寫(xiě)信更進(jìn)一步，但如果沒(méi)有觸覺(jué)和嗅覺(jué)的輔助，還是會(huì)大大降低戀愛(ài)的參與感。

According to Joshua Klapow, a clinical psychologist, "While using video to connect with someone definitely offers more intimacy than texting, emailing, or writing, not being able to touch or smell someone limits your sense of the other person."

網(wǎng)戀的另一弊端在于，騙子比比皆是。一項(xiàng)研究表明，81%的網(wǎng)戀者會(huì)編造自己的體重、身高或年齡。在虛擬的網(wǎng)絡(luò)世界里，人們可以隨意自吹自擂，只為展現(xiàn)出“最好的一面”。

Besides, the Web is full of tricksters. One study found that 81% of online daters admitted to lying about their weight, height, age or a combination of the three on their profiles. The Web allows users to present their best selves to the public, and sometimes those selves are exaggerated.

此外，網(wǎng)戀常常會(huì)讓人產(chǎn)生虛幻感——既然在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中無(wú)法見(jiàn)到，那么與真人戀愛(ài)，跟與紙片人或者AI戀愛(ài)，又有什么區(qū)別呢？答案是，“紙性戀”或許無(wú)傷大雅，而“人機(jī)戀”則可能會(huì)遇到倫理問(wèn)題。

《她》是一部美國(guó)科幻愛(ài)情片，作家西奧多在結(jié)束了一段令他心碎的愛(ài)情長(zhǎng)跑之后，愛(ài)上了電腦操作系統(tǒng)里的女聲，而這個(gè)叫“薩曼莎”的姑娘不僅有著略微沙啞的性感嗓音，而且風(fēng)趣幽默、善解人意，讓孤獨(dú)的男主泥足深陷。

Her is an American science-fiction romantic drama film. It follows Theodore Twombly, a man who develops a relationship with Samantha, an artificially intelligent virtual assistant personified through a female voice.

直到某天，薩曼莎無(wú)緣無(wú)故從電腦上消失了，西奧多這才得知，薩曼莎總共有8316位人類交互對(duì)象，并與其中的641位產(chǎn)生了愛(ài)情，而西奧多僅僅是其中之一。盡管如此，薩曼莎依然堅(jiān)持自己是深愛(ài)著西奧多的，她的愛(ài)并沒(méi)有因此而不同。人類無(wú)法接受的“海王”行為，在AI眼中卻變得無(wú)可厚非。

Theodore panics when Samantha briefly goes offline. When she finally responds to him, she confirms that she is talking with thousands of people, and that she has fallen in love with hundreds of them. Theodore is very upset at the idea, but Samantha insists it only makes her love for Theodore stronger.

總而言之，人們當(dāng)然可以通過(guò)網(wǎng)絡(luò)相識(shí)、相知甚至相戀，但只有真正見(jiàn)到對(duì)方，捧住對(duì)方臉頰，看進(jìn)對(duì)方眼底的那一刻，你才能夠確信，這個(gè)人就是你的此生摯愛(ài)。

Meeting online is a great way to get to know someone and even to connect on a deeper level. But until you hold someone's face in your hands, and gaze into that special person’s eyes, and see what he or she is really like in the flesh, you won't know without a doubt that it’s real love.

你覺(jué)得網(wǎng)戀是真愛(ài)還是錯(cuò)覺(jué)？

編輯：朱迪齊
實(shí)習(xí)生：王安然
來(lái)源：Medium CNN Business