又是一年畢業(yè)季，又有一群少年即將告別同窗，各自奔赴前程。而在大多數(shù)人的學(xué)生時(shí)代，心底總是藏著對(duì)于某個(gè)人隱秘的情愫。

那么，在離別的那一刻，到底要不要將自己的心意說(shuō)給Ta聽(tīng)呢？

愛(ài)，無(wú)問(wèn)西東？

對(duì)于這個(gè)話題，網(wǎng)友們眾說(shuō)紛紜。有人認(rèn)為，如果暗戀了對(duì)方很久，那就趕緊抓住畢業(yè)這最后的機(jī)會(huì)，否則Ta就只能出現(xiàn)在將來(lái)你跟兒孫聊天里。

Go and just tell. The person is in front of you probably you both can't meet in future again so if you don't confess one day she or he will be just a story and you will find yourself narrating her or his story to your grandchildren.

快去告訴Ta。Ta就在你眼前，畢業(yè)后就不知人家去向何方了。如果你現(xiàn)在沒(méi)表白，將來(lái)有一天Ta只會(huì)成為你口中的某某某，只會(huì)出現(xiàn)在講給自己的兒孫故事里。

表白是很純粹的一件事情，不需要附加那么多現(xiàn)實(shí)層面的考慮。有時(shí)候，人得多聽(tīng)從自己的內(nèi)心而不是大腦。而且，即便表白失敗，也能避免“抬頭不見(jiàn)低頭見(jiàn)”的尷尬。何樂(lè)而不為呢？

Don't stop yourself. Also listen to your heart. Sometimes we listen to our brain and neglect our true feelings but that's not good for our heart and will make you regret sometimes. You should also listen to your brain depending on the situations. Just take a decision in which you are confident that you'll not regret.

不要約束自己，傾聽(tīng)你的內(nèi)心。我們常常聽(tīng)從大腦的指揮，有時(shí)卻忽視了內(nèi)心的真實(shí)感受，讓自己傷心甚至后悔。你還需要根據(jù)情況理智分析，確保不會(huì)后悔自己做的決定。

支持表白的人還會(huì)說(shuō)，如果一直隱藏自己的心意，維持友誼的狀態(tài)，到頭來(lái)只會(huì)讓自己內(nèi)心痛苦。所以，不管最后是什么結(jié)果，一定要說(shuō)出口。

If you hide your feelings and continue the friendship your desire and hope increases day by day and it will get you a lot of pain at the end.

如果你隱藏自己的感情，繼續(xù)以友誼相待，你的渴望和希望就會(huì)與日俱增，到頭來(lái)會(huì)給你帶來(lái)很多痛苦。

So, my suggestion is to express your feelings right away and leave everything in the fate.

所以，我的建議是立即表達(dá)你的感受，把一切都交給命運(yùn)。

沖動(dòng)多于愛(ài)情?

反對(duì)畢業(yè)季表白的人認(rèn)為，在畢業(yè)的感傷氛圍之中，人難免會(huì)由于一時(shí)沖動(dòng)，做出自己平日不會(huì)做的事情。而畢業(yè)季的表白本質(zhì)上也只是一時(shí)“上頭”所做出的沖動(dòng)之舉。

在問(wèn)答社交網(wǎng)站Quora上面，有不少人提出“畢業(yè)了要不要表白”等類(lèi)似的問(wèn)題。其中有一個(gè)人分享說(shuō)，“喜歡一個(gè)女同學(xué)很久，我到底要不要在畢業(yè)前表白呢？還是等到畢業(yè)后，這樣就不用為失去一段友誼感到難堪了？”

他原話是這么問(wèn)的：

Is it ok to tell a girl you had a crush on her throughout high school, before you graduate? Or should I wait till after graduation so it's not weird and ruin our friendship?

他的疑慮不無(wú)道理，頭腦發(fā)熱的表白不一定會(huì)讓你收獲愛(ài)情，甚至還可能讓你失去一段友情。

下面的回答有支持的，也有反對(duì)的。但翻了翻大家的回答發(fā)現(xiàn)，那些反對(duì)表白的聲音雖少，但都不簡(jiǎn)單。

比如說(shuō)下面這條：

What's the point of telling her at all? You aren't asking her out, and you aren't doing anything for her by sharing your feelings. Where's the move that would actually lead to something you want?

向她表白有什么意義？你沒(méi)有約她出去，你也沒(méi)有為她做任何事，告訴她你的感受。真正能達(dá)到目的的行動(dòng)在哪里？

這人上來(lái)就反問(wèn)道，你這樣一下子突然跟人家表白有什么意義呢？你都沒(méi)有約人家出去幾次，不了解人家，可能也沒(méi)搞明白自己的心意，就先別一股腦的去表白了。

接著，他說(shuō)，“不要向暗戀的人敞開(kāi)心扉（Don't share your feelings with a crush.）”。

這聽(tīng)起來(lái)令人詫異，但他想要表達(dá)的卻另有一番道理：喜歡Ta就約人家出去喝喝咖啡，主動(dòng)去了解人家，也讓對(duì)方慢慢地接受自己。突然的熱烈表白只會(huì)增加對(duì)方的心理負(fù)擔(dān)，好好的姻緣說(shuō)不定就跑了……

Don't share your feelings with a crush. If you like someone, ask them out. No deep expressions of love or other emotion, as that's just overloading a poor girl who hasn't had time to get to know you the same way. She won't be able to process that well, and it will just scare her off. Instead allow her to get to know you in the romantic sense. Ask her to grab coffee or something else casual with as little committment needed on her part beyond guaranteeing that she knows it is a date. The less committment needed, the more likely she’ll say “yes”, and the less she’ll be turning down if she says “no”. “No” to coffee is just turning down coffee, not all of these secret pent up feelings you have.

不要與你喜歡的人敞開(kāi)心扉。如果你喜歡某人，就約Ta出去。不要深沉的愛(ài)或其他情感的表達(dá)，想讓人家短時(shí)間內(nèi)感同身受，只會(huì)讓那個(gè)可憐女孩感到負(fù)擔(dān)。她無(wú)法很好地處理這些，反而會(huì)被嚇跑的。相反，以浪漫的方式讓她了解你。請(qǐng)她喝杯咖啡或隨便什么，除了確保她知道這是一次約會(huì)外，不需要她做出什么承諾。需要的承諾越少，她說(shuō)“是”的可能性就越大，如果她說(shuō)“不”，你放棄她的可能性就越小。對(duì)咖啡說(shuō)“不”只是拒絕喝咖啡，而不是拒絕所有這些被你偷偷壓抑的感情。

的確，表白不僅是一段深情的話、熾熱的眼神和緊張到可以聽(tīng)見(jiàn)的心跳。表白不是一種儀式，而是實(shí)打?qū)嵉娜プ非髮?duì)方。把甜寵表白的場(chǎng)面留在戀愛(ài)泡沫劇里吧，現(xiàn)實(shí)中追求自己的幸?？刹荒芴ё?。尤其在畢業(yè)季，機(jī)會(huì)失去了就失去了。

A confession to a stranger is just a bunch of meaningless words that embarrass you and gets used later by you to prove to yourself that it was always hopeless to go for the girl, when in reality you never really went for her in the first place.

向陌生人表白只是一堆讓你難堪的毫無(wú)意義的話，后來(lái)你會(huì)用這些話向自己證明，追求那個(gè)女孩總是沒(méi)有希望的，而實(shí)際上，你從一開(kāi)始就沒(méi)有真正追求過(guò)。

聊到這里你或許已經(jīng)發(fā)現(xiàn)了，那些反對(duì)的聲音不是阻止畢業(yè)生去戀愛(ài)，而是避免他們因?yàn)樘仆坏谋戆锥鴼Я艘欢螒賽?ài)。

給那些被點(diǎn)燃起來(lái)的真情和勇氣降降溫，多設(shè)身處地地為對(duì)方著想。

Telling someone you've had a crush on them for a long time can come off as very powerful, a big disappointment (for not saying so sooner), or a little icky (if your crush isn't attracted to you). Getting the timing right here can be tricky, so put yourself in his/her shoes.

告訴某人你已經(jīng)迷戀他們很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間了，這可能會(huì)讓你非常強(qiáng)大、非常失望（因?yàn)闆](méi)有早點(diǎn)說(shuō)出來(lái)），或者有點(diǎn)鬧心（如果你的迷戀對(duì)象對(duì)你沒(méi)有感覺(jué)）。把握時(shí)機(jī)可能有難度，所以要設(shè)身處地為他/她著想。

另外，畢業(yè)季的大家可能都還不確定自己去向何方、在哪里生活、做什么工作，如果在這充滿各種不確定性的時(shí)刻表白，即便表白成功，未來(lái)也可能會(huì)迫于現(xiàn)實(shí)而分手。

趁著還有時(shí)間，談一段甜甜的校園戀愛(ài)，比趕著畢業(yè)的尾巴才對(duì)人家表白好：

No…you should confess to her before school finishes because if you won't confess to her now you will miss the countless beautiful moments of romance in the school life. The little things like staying in the classroom in the break time and secretly talking when the teacher is teaching. Furthermore you can build a relationship in a better way. If you confess after school is finished she may decline as you both might go separate ways in your life.

不……你應(yīng)該在畢業(yè)前向她表白，因?yàn)槿绻銢](méi)有及時(shí)表白，你將錯(cuò)過(guò)學(xué)校生活中無(wú)數(shù)美好浪漫的事情，比如課間休息時(shí)一起待在教室里，上課時(shí)偷偷聊天。此外，你可以用更好的方式建立關(guān)系。如果你在畢業(yè)后才表白，她可能會(huì)拒絕，因?yàn)槟銈儌z可能會(huì)各奔東西。

“我要不要表白？”大多數(shù)人會(huì)鼓勵(lì)你為愛(ài)勇敢沖，但在畢業(yè)季這個(gè)重要的珍貴時(shí)刻，卻鮮有人告訴你，時(shí)機(jī)很重要，方法很重要，別搞砸了。

都說(shuō)戀愛(ài)是門(mén)玄學(xué)。表白了不一定成功，不表白也不代表沒(méi)有機(jī)會(huì)。畢業(yè)季的情愫會(huì)在雙方心里埋下一粒種子，可能并不會(huì)在當(dāng)下立即開(kāi)花結(jié)果，但在未來(lái)的不經(jīng)意間，你們會(huì)有一段美好的故事。

你在畢業(yè)季表白了嗎？

Notes

confess to 向...承認(rèn)；坦白

embarrass [?m?ber?s] v.使為難

have a crush on 迷戀某人

icky [??ki] adj.黏糊糊（令人不舒服）的

timing [?ta?m??] n.時(shí)機(jī)的掌握

come off as 帶給別人什么樣的印象

（來(lái)源：中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)雙語(yǔ)新聞微信  編輯：陳月華、實(shí)習(xí)生徐璐瑤、丹妮）