從分手理由就可以看出人們在乎什么。

? Ta性格太差勁了，我說什么Ta都跟我杠，拒絕溝通，不分手留著過年？

?談之前不知道，相處起來才發(fā)現(xiàn)智力上有鴻溝，考慮問題不在一個層面……

?可能是收入有差別吧，我倆消費觀念相差太大……

但處對象可能又和找對象不是一回事。找的時候看臉，處起來又看性格。似乎，這是一個綜合決策過程。

What do you look for in a partner? It seems like an easy question, but if you're asked to break down what it is that attracts you to someone else, you might struggle to put your finger on it.

你找對象時看中什么？看似是個簡單的問題，但要是叫你掰開來說道說道，你可能會犯難。

傳統(tǒng)的主流觀點認為男性在尋找伴侶時比較看中的是外在條件，女性則比較傾向于非外在的部分。來自德國哥廷根大學的研究者們與經期追蹤軟件提供商一道，開展了一項針對來自180個國家的68000名女性的研究。

Dr. Tanja Gerlach, from the University of G?ttingen, said: “the survey is unique in that women from all over the world—across various sexual orientations and life phases—gave us rich insight into what matters most to them. This allows us to draw a very differentiated picture of women's preferences for long-term, and short-term relationships.”

來自哥廷根大學的Gerlach博士表示：“這項研究的獨特之處在于我們研究了世界各地，各個年齡階段，各種性取向的女性的擇偶要求。我們由此可以看到長遠也好短期也罷的戀愛關系中女性的擇偶偏好?！?/p>

研究發(fā)現(xiàn)：

? "Kindness" was the most important trait, with nearly 90 percent of women thinking it was a top priority.

“善良體貼”是最重要的特質，幾乎90%的女性都把它排在了第一位。

? Attractiveness was important, but it came secondary to personality traits like "supportiveness" and "intelligence."

外在條件的確很重要，但是并沒有“會支持鼓勵人”以及“智力”這類特質重要。

? When asked about choosing a long-term mate, 46.1 percent of women of all sexual orientations said that a potential partner's desire to parent is very important.

當問及長期戀愛關系時，46.1%的受訪者，無論取向如何，都表示希望對方也會要小孩。

? For both heterosexual and homosexual women, an attractive smile and attractive eyes were the most important physical features sought in a long-term partner.

異性戀與同性戀女性都表示，長期關系中，笑容和眼睛好看是最重要的外在條件。

? Women in Colombia, Mexico and Brazil most frequently stated education was important, while women from countries like the U.K. and Denmark were less likely to find education important in a long-term partner.

哥倫比亞、墨西哥、和巴西等國的受訪者最看重對方的教育水平。但英國和丹麥等國家的受訪者則認為長期關系中教育水平沒那么重要。

Virginia J. Vitzthum, professor of anthropology at Indiana University and the lead researcher on the project, said kindness is "like gravity" — "essential but little-noticed until it's gone."

印第安納大學人類學教授、該研究的首席研究者Virginia J. Vitzthum表示，“友好善良”這樣的特質就像“地心引力”——“必不可少，而且直到消失了才會引起人們注意?！?/p>

"Given today's emphasis on looks and wealth, it may surprise you that kindness is a top desirable trait across the world. While it's fun and nice to feel gorgeous and sexy (and there's nothing wrong with that) the mistake is thinking these are the most important things," she said.

她還稱：“如今大家都看臉看錢，看到研究結果顯示‘善良體貼’是世界各地受訪者公認的最重要特質，還是有點驚訝。雖說漂亮性感肯定是好事（追求外在肯定沒毛病），但是要是覺得它們是最重要的那就錯了。”

Only 2.5 percent of women globally preferred a "very muscular" body type in a long-term partner, with "average" body-types being the most popular, with 44.8 percent of women choosing it. "Fit and athletic" body-types came in second place with 34.8 percent of the vote.

在找長期伴侶時，全球只有2.5%的女性喜歡“肌肉虬結”的身材。最受歡迎的還是“中等”身材，投票占比44.8%。其次就是“薄肌且愛運動”，占比34.8%。

"This is the human brain unconsciously prioritizing what matters, and noticing physical 'imperfections' less," said Vitzthum. "Intrinsic goodness, and shared values, these are what drive real romance."

研究員Vitzthum還表示：“人類大腦會無意識地挑選最重要的特質，而且會沒那么關注外在的瑕疵。內在美，以及共同的價值觀，才是驅動真正浪漫的力量?！?/p>

有人總結到：

Initial attraction is based on physical appearance. Relationship attraction is based on other factors.

外在美決定了一開始的喜歡，維持戀愛關系則受到其他因素支配。

這有點類似于中國年輕人常說的“始于顏值，終于人品”吧。

社交媒體上有過這樣一個排序：

1、顏值2、身材3、財力4、智力5、性格，總共五個指標，請你把對戀人的期望按重要性從高到低排列。

點贊數(shù)最高的是54321，性格最重要，顏值好商量。

緊接著的兩個排序（54312和51324）也把性格排在了第一位，差別主要在對顏值和智力的取舍。

把智力排在最末的人聲稱：“蠢蠢的人應該會好騙好哄”。但有人指出智力的缺陷可不是好騙好哄，而是真的會成為你的拖油瓶。

也有相當數(shù)量的人直截了當?shù)匕芽茨樑旁诘谝晃唬?4523），這可能就是臉和腦子我都要吧。

編輯：唐曉敏

來源：Insider、HelloClue、微博